T-NYWTH (fiction)
July 12, 2002
Chris: Once again, we bring you "The News You Wanted To Hear."
Kris: T-NYWTH -- Responsible, Good News Radio, and Good News Online
Chris: We know what you want to hear. And we deliver it the way you want to hear it.
Kris: On T-NYWTH, every day, we bring you not just any news, not the bad news, but the news you always wanted to hear. 'round the clock.
Chris: All news. All good news. Only good news. First the headlines.
Kris: America continues to win the "War on Terrorism." Visit our subsection, "America at War with the World," and commentary. Lt. Gen. Dan McNeill spoke of humanitarian aid projects during talks with Afghanistan's leaders. The humanitarian aid was suggested to patch up fury in Afghanistan after the "friendly fire" accident in which some 48 civilians were incidentally killed during an American airstrike. Source: nyt. "President" Bush has contacted president Karzai of Afghanistan to express sympathy for the dead. No monetary compensation is planned. Source: nyt. The airstrike was a response to the belief that anti-aircraft guns were installed in the area.
Chris: The good news is that no anti-aircraft guns were found near the village, and there were no indications of "enemy" activities in the area." Source: nyt.
Kris: Imagine, kayaking from Oakland's Lake Merrit to the bay along pristine waters with sunny sidewalks along the banks, a bird sanctuary that really supports a population of resident and migratory birds. This could be reality if Oakland voters approve a $198 million bond measure for clean-up. Source: sfgate
Chris: The measure would provide storm water filters, aeration water fountains to provide clean water, reduce traffic lanes and install a small beach, install a boathouse, and other public-pleasing measures. Source: sfgate
Kris: The bond requires a two-thirds majority vote for passage. Council members were ecstatic. The bond goes before voters in November. Not everyone is convinced that the voters will go for this expenditure. Source: sfgate Still, it's great to imagine that Oakland might clean up this mess at Lake Merritt.
Chris: The United Nations expects to continue the peacekeeping force in Bosnia despite "president" Bush's threat to withdraw support of the United States unless the UN agrees to recognize immunity of Americans from the jurisdiction of the court. story, nyt
Kris: The good news is that the "president" hopes to win immunity for those Americans who work in any "official" capacity in America's "war" on terrorism, or any other "peacekeeping" operation. Under criticism, the "president" has backed away from this stand, but continues to stand up to protect immunity for Americans. story.
Chris: Polio virus has been synthesized as a germ warfare agent. Scientists funded by the Pentagon revealed that they have developed a germ warfare polio agent which can be synthesized in any laboratory using gene sequencing available on the web. The Pentagon funded this project to demonstrate that it is possible for terrorists to produce bioweapons.
Kris: The good news is that it is our side which has this weapon. As always, it is the United States which is the first to develop weapons of mass destruction. The Pentagon has plans to use this research to produce countermeasures in case someone else gets this weapon.
Chris: America's scientists are always the first, Kris.
Kris: That's right Chris. Why, I'd bet that in some cases, America's enemies would not have thought of these weapons if Pentagon-funded scientists in the United States did not demonstrate their feasibility.
Chris: The "president" and Congress try to outdo each other in promises to crack down on corporate crime.
Kris: After yesterday's promise from "president" Bush to pursue with vigor executive who take loans from corporations much like the loans he received several years ago from Harken, the Senate has "banned" the practice of lcorporate loans for executives in the future. The "president" has appointed a "SWAT team" to pursue these criminals.
Chris: Today's great news from Wall Street is that economists are promising, hoping, that the plunge in the stock market will end soon. After eight weeks of decline, economists are hoping for tough legislation from Congress against corporate fraud will win the confidence of investors. We all look forward to a stock market rally.
Kris: On the brighter side, the economy is expected to spring back after high risk investments were initiated to restore America's confidence in the Market.
Chris: And that was today's entry of The News You Wanted to Hear. We know what you want.
Kris: At T-NYWTH, we believe in god and the family and support our national unity. We believe in the strength of America. We believe that America continues to respect the rights and freedoms of its citizens. We support freedom of choice and freedom of expression.
Chris: Join us every day as we present the news you wanted to hear. Hear us tell you how we continue to win America's war of terrorism.
Kris: All news. All good news. Only good news.
fiction